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What’s it like having the second… then the third?

A while ago I read such a funny text, that I have since referred to every time somebody has asked me about how life has changed from pregnancy #1 to #3, and life at home… & now I found it again (at Nursinghumor.com)!

So here you have it:

Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:Your Clothes1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.The Baby’s Name1st baby: You pour over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.
2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger points.Preparing for the Birth1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don’t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.The Layette1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?

Worries

1st baby: At the first sign of distress–a whimper, a frown–you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Pacifier

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Sleeping

1st baby: Sleeps in your bedroom for the first six – eight weeks
2nd baby: Sleeps in your bedroom for the first two weeks
3rd baby: Goes right from the hospital nursery into their own room

Baby Book

1st baby: You religiously make entries every day, carefully noting the number of spit-ups and bowel movements for the first year
2nd baby: You enter a few facts each week but stop after 6 months
3rd baby: You buy the book but enter the child’s name, birth weight, and length on the first page

Diapering

1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing a coin

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When 2nd child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for coin to pass.
3rd child: When 3rd child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!

If I would add a few of my own:

Tea/ Coffee:

1st baby: 3-5 mugs at a time as soon as partner comes home & you’re arms are baby free.
2nd baby: Occasional sips of hot tea, because as soon as there are two minutes to spare you find your mug where ever it was, reheat it in the microwave & take the next savoured sip (…still holding out for FRESH coffee)!
3rd baby: Coffee whenever you want… straight out of the thermos – as long as it was brewed within the last three days – reheated in the microwave… comfort for your crying baby will happen very very shortly… not right right now exactly… but there’s verbal comfort in the meanwhile!

The babies clothes:

1st baby: Entire outfit change at the first sign of dampness or discolouring.
2nd baby: Change the bib. As for the rest of the outfit, is it poo? OK – find some new clothes!
3rd baby: You can do so much with a wet wipe!

The pram bag:

1st baby: 4-5 full outfit changes… and a certain level of anxiety that you may NOT have enough; 8 or so diapers; multiple choices of nappy creams; full packets of wet and dry wipes… and 20 other ’necessities’, all structured and retrievable. Hand cream for my other half.
2nd baby: Extra clothes for 2yr old that fill nearly the entire bag by themselves, a packet of the ’right’ kind of branded plasters, snacks & distractions for toddler; an extra outfit for baby; couple of nappies, a few other bits… and you can’t find anything anyway! Hand cream for my other half!
3rd baby: Possibly an extra item for an older sibling; almost a whole outfit – I think… last checked?; A couple of nappies and half a pack of wet wipes; FULL of other ’crap’… and impossible to retrieve anything; Hand cream!!!

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