Top 10 Ways to Annoy a Swede
Why am I writing this post you might ask? 🙂
Let’s put it this way.
There’s nothing wrong with a little cultural insight however you may choose to use it.
1. Cutting in the queue.
The annoyance of queue cutting doesn’t even start the moment the deed is done.
If you look even remotely out of place in the ’pre-queue’ almost a line forming phase…
If you look like you’re even thinking about cutting in the queue.
There are Swede’s whose blood is beginning to boil!
2. Talking loudly on your phone in a public place.
Wherever you are, Swedes are about ’respect’.
Respecting ’personal space’ – that’s the 1 meter radius physical space that surrounds them.
Respecting their right to peace, calm and quiet.
To be talking loudly in your phone is to invade their right to clear head space.
To continue talking loudly in your phone is to disregard their very being.
To persist in talking loudly after receiving ’the look’ (translation: slightly nodded head and direct gaze of disapproval) is to be labelled socially incompetent at the risk of verbal correction.
…A bad oversea’s connection – forget about it! No excuse is excusable.
3. The LOUD ring signal.
We’re back to the right to clear head space.
A loud ring signal ANYWHERE, is a no!
Neglecting to turn it off before a meeting …And we’re back in the ’respect’ corner.
4. LOUD music …Yes, even at home!
Wherever you are. I’m sure I’ve said this before.
Swede’s are about respect.
You might be in your own home.
You might think that it’s ok to enjoy your food, your music, your party.
But you had better have given all of your neighbors advanced warning that you were having that party!
It better be on one of the only two acceptable days to have a party (friday or saturday – incase you were wondering).
And it better be an infrequent occurrence – once a month is about the limit.
Or your friendly neighbors – not liking confrontation – are more likely on the third occasion, to call the police than knock on your door and ask you to turn it down a bit.
Don’t slip into the mistake of believing that sport events are an exception from this rule.
There’s one exception.
That’s right, one.
5. Neglecting to clean the shared laundry facilities after your scheduled turn.
Oh there’s a lot to touch on here!
Firstly, make sure you’re only in that room when you’ve scheduled to be there!
If there’s a free spot, don’t just use it. Schedule it.
Don’t start packing up when your time is up.
When the clock strikes …There shouldn’t be sign or sight of you.
The handover from one scheduled time to the next is not the time for chitchat… Now, I’m not saying you can’t. BUT, that chitchat needs to happen outside the laundry, as you’ve already exited it at EXACTLY your vacated time.
That’s RESPECTING the next scheduled time.
And it HAS to be clean!
No leftover powder or softener in the machines.
No fluff on the drier filter.
No muddy footprints on the floor.
No drips of water in the sink.
Dry it out!
Or what you have down there is a very unhappy Swede, muttering away to themselves about the lack of respect.
6. Not wiping the bathroom floor with a ’squidgy mop’ after having a shower.
Yes, it’s a shower room, yes water is consistently spraying onto the floor.
Yes, immediately after you’ve used it someone else is going to walk in and wet it all over again.
Yes, there is a cleaner, employed to clean it at the end of the day too.
But it’s about respect.
Respecting that the next person that walks in probably doesn’t want to stand in the water that’s run off your body onto the floor
– no matter how clean your body may have been.
Making sure that they have the chance to step into an ’almost’ unused bathroom right on after.
Without sign or sight of you.
…Isn’t it nice to be able to pretend you’re the only one around!
Annoying Swedes in the traffic:
7. Standing your car outside a garage exit.
No, I’m not talking about parking your car outside a garage exit
…That one may be universal.
I’m talking about stopping your car, momentarily, engine still running, driver still in the drivers seat.
That’s it, you just pushed a button.
8. Crossing the road to slowly.
So you’ve already figured out it’s only ’acceptable’ to cross at a designated crossing.
But now that you’re there, you’d better speed it up!
Respecting that the person in the car has places to be.
That you’re holding them up.
That it’s barely reasonable for them to have to wait for your toddler to toddle along beside you.
I’ve seen people pick up from walking, to running just for the sake of the crossing laying in front of them – and the little traffic light man only just turned green!
9. Belittling or making a dig at ANY Swedish achievement.
Ok, ONE joke might be ok.
Then you’ve filled your quota for the evening.
And make sure not to throw punches more often than every third meeting with the same people around.
Otherwise …Well, why do you continue to live here anyway?!
10. Sitting next to somebody on any public transportation – if there was ANY other option available.
It’s about the 1 meter radius, remember!
Unfortunately public transportation planners have not considered this necessity when designing seating.
There should in fact be one seat on each side of the bus, with a yellow line drawn a little way out from each, as a ’do not cross this’ marker for each row of seats.
In this setting the Swede is being subject to invasion of their space in a closed environment where they have little or no option to do anything about it.
What annoys you?
What else do you think annoys a Swede? 🙂